He's ouT of my Life ! *finally*!

He's out of my life
He's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry *im happy*
I don't know whether to live or die *live*
And it cuts like a knife *no its not, it had been*
He's out of my life

It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think the two years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He's out of my hands

So I've learned that loves not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

And he's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned in decision and cursed pride
I kept my love for him locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life

when i admired him, im sooo, sooo happy ive felt something im so grateful that i was given. i didnt expect i will be so candid and forward to admit/confess what i felt at that time. i was certainly, extremely overjoyed, i was drowned to my own assumptions during the life span of "our" moments. i felt admired all along, then it happened. suddenly it was all gone. i was disappointed on myself cause i know i did something that caused him for a change of heart. my healing time was as difficult as it should be.,. all i did was reminisce the "moments". *i cant even imagine myself then, it was not good (the feeling)* but it was all worth it,! the sadness, regrets turned into HATRED, dont i deserve to feel that way? he was not forgiven, i cant lie with that though we talked but we dont mingle, as if weve not been "that" (LOL), ...as friends. i was healed. i dont want to commit the same mistake again. i dont wanna be fooled. i dont wanna be "tripped" *cant find the appropriate word but this is close* :(

confused

i dont know how i feEL, or i must feel.

im happy, sometimes dejected, confused, protected, secure, admired, snubbed...

am i fooling myself? ...

or are they fooling me? ...

is this feeling authentic? ...

or i just wanna feeL ecstatic? ...

every so often, i feeL jealous into so many things i cant detail, but all i know for sure,.

... it hurts me gradually.

i am feeling this way cause im not asking,its not really my thing.. :'P im presuming the likelihood of some things..

THIS IS ME. hello blogger (wave) !